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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

How to Make Believe that Logic is Impossible

 by Rammy Johnson

 Facts, oddities, incidental details: these are only some of the few things I examine in the following twenty features I have come up with concerning life and all its intricacies. Some will make you laugh, others will make you scratch your chin, but whatever your behaviour, each and every one of these twenty or so queries.

1) Ever used 3-second glue (or instant glue and super glue as it is called in some countries)? Why does it stick so quickly as soon as you squeeze it out but it doesn't stick to the sides of the tube from which you squeeze it out?

2) Sanity statistics has proven that one out of four people are insane or suffer from some form of mental disease. Think of three of your best friends. If they are fine, then you must be the fourth one.

3) If you have either a television or a Video Receiver or a DVD or anything that needs a remote controller, this odd behaviour is familiar. Have you noticed that whenever the batteries begin to get dull, we press down harder? Are we expecting to squeeze more out of them?

4) How come Tarzan has no beard?

5) Switched those bulbs that are enclosed in tight plastic shutters? Have you noticed that whenever you go to do that there are always dead bugs inside? How did they manage to get there?

6) Why doesn't a plastic bag open up at the first end we try to open?

7) Why, pray tell, do doctors just about to inject a prisoner with a lethal injection check that the needle is sterilized?

8) Why do the banks charge extra if you withdraw more money than is present from your bank account? Don't they realize that there's no money in the account?

9) Why don't we ever hear jokes about father-in-laws?

10) If people run into a sign near a park bench saying that the paint is wet, every one will touch it to check. If this is so, why don't these same folk verify the star count of around four billion stars so stated according to various scientists?

11) How many times will we return to the fridge even though there is no food in it and we know that from the previous time we paid a visit just minutes ago?

12) Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest but ducks if after the bullets are over the gun is thrown at him?

13) If the human race evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?

14) Note this. The next time an object is about to fall off someplace, if you try and prevent this, you will knock off another object instead. Is this some upper power trying to uphold karmic balance?

15) Why did the Japanese kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

16) Use a vacuum cleaner at home? I do. But, explain to me why I move it over and over a piece of thread in the hopes that it will suck it in. Then, why do I pick up that rope, examine it and then place it back down and retry to suck it in using the vacuum cleaner?

17) How come soap bubbles are always white no matter what the colour of the soap?

18) Is it winter or summer wherever you are right now? Have you noticed that if it is summer we try and make the house as cold as it would be during winter, and if it is winter, we try and make the house as hot as it would during summer?

19) I have passed across many shops and marketplaces where they sell mattresses, and yet, I have yet to find one where the mattresses are not advertised as being part of a sale!

20) Sometimes we are just too polite! How many times have others run into us with their carts or even worse have smashed into out ankles? Instead of cursing or at least barking at them to watch where they are going, why do we just smile when they say sorry?

Before I End:
Above you have run into about twenty or so intriguing incidents on life that I or some friend of mine has come across. Most will be familiar to you. Some might not. But, I hope that each one of them will if not make you at least laugh, bring a wry smile to your face and to your heart.

For more comments and insights (not just on life but also on other topics such as how to scratch your back or how to play onlinecasino games), go to where Rammy Johnson has written more of his funny views.

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