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Friday, May 11, 2012

How To Help A Friend With Low Self-Esteem Using 3 Simple Tips

 by Michael Lee 

 Knowing how to help a friend with low self-esteem can greatly improve not only their sense of worth, but your relationship as well.

Everyone feels a little down sometimes; but when someone you care about becomes too self-deprecating and overly critical of themselves, it’s time to do something about it.

Here are 3 simple tips to help a friend with low self-esteem have a healthy self-concept.

Tip # 1: Give Your Friend Compliments. 

Everyone likes to hear something good about themselves, especially when they are lonely or having a bad day. Reminding someone about the good qualities they have shows them that they are admired and appreciated, helping them feel good about themselves.

However, try to be sincere and avoid overdoing it. It’s important to remember that what they need is genuine affirmation. Don’t just give empty compliment after another just for the sake of it.

Be specific about it. Don't just say, “you're a good person.” Instead, say something like, “you're a great communicator who knows how to win people's hearts.”

Tip # 2: Don’t Nurse Their Insecurities But Be Honest To Them.

People with low self-esteem are most likely sensitive about their self-image and how others perceive them. As a friend, you know what issues they are sensitive to and which you should avoid getting into.

Confronting your friend about their weaknesses can be tricky, as you don’t want them to feel worse about themselves. However, if there are certain matters that should be dealt with, you mustn’t just keep quiet about them either.

Talk to them about it in a kind and calm way, and let them know that though it may hurt now, you believe that it would help them become a better person in the future. Moreover, let them know that you'll always be there to support them.

Tip # 3: Don’t Tolerate Self-Deprecation.

When you hear your friend talk poorly of themselves, do not indulge them or sympathize with them - this is not how to help a friend with low self-esteem.

Though you might think that this makes them feel better about themselves, you are only adding to the self-pity they feel. This won’t get them anywhere.

Be firm and let them know that you wouldn’t want to hear any more of their negativity. Eventually, they will change the way they think about themselves because you refuse to be a part of their pity party.

Learning how to help a friend with low self-esteem isn't that difficult, but it also depends on them in the end. To be successful, you have to be sure that they are first willing to help themselves too.

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